say it with flash cards

by:WJPC     2020-06-15
Hey, time traveler!
This article is published in 5/11/2010 (3225 days ago)
Therefore, the information in it may no longer be up to date.
Nancy dreyforth clearly remembers that moment.
That was about 20 years ago.
The therapist tries to fight between an extremely picky wife and her depressed husband.
The wife ruthlessly attacked and once accused the husband of a \"stupid\" decision.
His reaction was to become more silent and withdrawn.
Dreyforth remembered the hostile communication of his parents and suddenly felt powerless.
At the end of her wisdom, she scribbled on a piece of paper, \"speak to me like the one you love!
She handed the paper to the man and whispered, \"lift it up.
He did so, and his wife softened at once.
The tone of the conversation changed and soon the couple discussed the issue like a friend.
Dreyforth was impressed by the power of the broken relationship between words healing.
She tidied up a bunch of such information, copied them at Kinko, tied them up with rings, distributed them to customers, and helped them manage conflicts.
These \"flash cards in real life\" are popular.
In 1993, she published them in the form of books.
Now, she\'s touting a revised and expanded version with a sharp title to start all this and talking to me like the one you love (
Tarcher/Penguin, $16. 95).
This book offers 101 flash cards, from simple to simple (
\"You are a bully \")
More complicated, more lengthy (\"I\'m in knots.
I dare not tell you my truth, I have to humor you, it is a terrible feeling \").
The card is divided into nine titles (
Shift gears, feel fragile, apologize, etc. )
, Each with an explanatory \"on-site Note\" to illustrate the role of the card.
Dreyforth called the book \"The first book\"
Rapidly generate kits for goodwill and the restoration of intimacy in off-track communication.
\"The happiest couple has a repair mechanism,\" dreyforth said recently in her home office . \".
\"They may argue a lot, but they have some warmth and connection.
The problem is not conflict;
No warmth is conflict.
This is not what you are arguing about;
Whether you hear the other person or not, whether you are in contact or not.
The 60-year-old Dreyfus thinks life is hard, the universe is kind, the trauma of childhood is inevitable after adulthood, we are all eager to connect, we never get frustrated with our thoughts. In our interpersonal conflicts, what matters is not the content, but the background.
Dreyforth wrote: \"This is the real Arena --
How do you two treat each other at this moment.
\"In other words, it\'s not so much what you say as what you say, it\'s a major advantage of flash cards.
Words in printed form are \"purer\" than the same words, especially during periods of conflict, Dreyfus said.
They have no \"toxic tones\", no infection of inflection points, no hints of sincerity, irony, anger.
Just showing a flash card means willing to give up pride for a bridge.
\"This is an act of goodwill, an act of giving and acceptance,\" Dreyfus said . \".
Reorganization is an effective strategy that is often adopted by people with keen emotions.
For those who are more ignorantnamely, men (
Most people shudder at the prospect of a relationship review, not to mention a relationship fix)—
This book is a godsend and seems to be designed for them.
What is more perfect for cute non-verbal, emotional constipation blocks than ready-made --
Good for flash cards?
Of course, flash cards are very useful for \"Asian relations\" men --
\"Men will go out and get the book so they can go to bed!
\"Dreyvers said with a smile,
But she insists the book is not about sex, and both women and men can benefit.
\"This book is for the club --
Dreyforth said, \"We all know nothing when we are triggered.
Grew up in N. MetchenJ.
Dreyforth is a bookworm.
Her academic approach provides her with good service at the University of Pennsylvania and the Graduate School of Journalism at Columbia University, and she has worked as an award --
Award-winning writer (
Under Nancy Greenberg\'s signature)
At the evening news conference in the early 70 s
In reporting a story about transcendental meditation, she tried it and experienced herself as \"a relatively relaxed person,\" a novel state that triggered epiphany.
She turned down a prestigious job in the New York Times and quit her journalism job to pursue a doctorate in clinical psychology.
Speaking of the decision to leave the newspaper, Dreyfus said: \"I realize that telling people that all the anger, fear and pain in the world can only produce more anger, fear and pain.
\"I decided that by helping people deal with their discontent with the people who woke up this morning, I could do more for world peace.
\"She still thinks she\'s a crusader, but she expressed that desire today through couple healing.
\"Until we learn to create peace under our own roof, there will be no peace in the world,\" dreyforth said . \".
The pursuit of global harmony is lofty, but is it practical?
Are people really going to stop to get dreyfus\'s book and turn to the relevant information in the heat of the conflict?
\"They will, they will,\" dreyforth said.
She cited the client\'s testimony and letters from those who bought the book.
The relationship between a couple is so active that they are married.
Another couple put a copy in the glove box of the car in case donibrook broke out on the way.
Dreyforth, a divorced woman who has been married to a psychiatrist for 20 years, is the mother of an adult daughter and uses the cards herself.
Her boyfriend, an architect, posted two flashcards on his bed. No.
21: \"Now, I don\'t need a lecture.
I need your love
I crossed out \"a class\" and wrote \"therapy \"); and No.
80: \"You don\'t know how much I regret that I accept this direction.
I\'m really sorry. \"—
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